I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
