Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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