Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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