So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
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There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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