how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
