I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish you could order shots online.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
