when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
