was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
