I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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