Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize