Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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