I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
