im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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