I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
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