dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
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What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
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Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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