True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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