the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
