When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
COCAINE IS GR8
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
