ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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