Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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