what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
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Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
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I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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