are you still at the devil's house?
I faked an abortion last night.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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