there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
