so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
