K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
In the future we'll all be gay
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
