That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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