I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't deserve a penis
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
