you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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