Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
