is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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