I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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