I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
