I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
