Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
