If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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