I got chris browned last night
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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