thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize