; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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