First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
