I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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