Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
