From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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