I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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