I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I deserve this hangover.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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