Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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