For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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