Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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