yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
