It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
