Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize