I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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