How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
