Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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