well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
