My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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