I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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