Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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