Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
