There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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