I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
