you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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