i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
